Hey, I like the guys of SW as much as any other gal. I had a crush on Han, I adored Luke, leer at Qui-Gon (notice that’s in the present tense), and I used to get that Julia Roberts giggle of mine going when I thought about Obi-Wan.

But Anakin from AOTC…just doesn’t do it for me. It’s not an age thing; I’m old enough to be his mother. I don’t even think he’s “baby cute”. And it can’t just be because we all know what Ani is going to turn into. People comment about his boy-band refugee looks, and I’m not sure if that isn’t part of the problem. The leading men of SW never had the “Hollywood” look. Mark Hamill and Ewan McGregor will probably have their boyish looks well into middle age; Liam Neeson and Harrison Ford rate high on the sexiest men polls, but they’ve almost always been described as ruggedly handsome.

Now, here comes Mr. Christensen. The boy bands are pretty recent in people’s minds, so I guess that’s how the comparison came about. I think it kind of distracts viewers from what he’s doing on the screen. It does make me wonder, with all the “Oooh, Hayden! He’s so cute!” kind of stuff going around the internet.

Because the PT has a “Star Wars” label on it, I’m supposed to love it.

Uh-uh.

I just love how some people say you’re not a real fan if you don’t like all the SW movies. Some of them say they feel sorry for those who couldn’t enjoy the PT.

A) I don’t need others defining whether I’m a fan or not. Nobody corners the market on fandom. I love three SW movies, therefore, I’m a SW fan.

B) Don’t feel sorry for me. I give my enjoyment to things that deserve it. I don’t waste my time trying to like something just because it’s SW.

I tried that. It’s not enjoyable.

Okay, I should have gotten out where I stand on SW in general so nothing I say will seem to come out of left field. Here it is, boiled down to the basics:

Original Trilogy – masterpieces, even ROTJ. Want them on DVD so badly I can taste it.

Prequel Trilogy (so far) – I can’t watch them for more than a few minutes at a time. TPM was partially redeemed (and I stress partially) by Neeson, McGregor, and Duel of the Fates. Beyond that, I lean heavily on the Skip button. AOTC is nearly unwatchable.

EU – as a whole, flawed concept. LFL should let writers write what they want to write and not enslave them to one single timeline. (I know there’s an Infinities label for stuff not on the timeline, but it should all be Infinities.) Some of the better Star Trek novels I’ve read don’t adhere to the unified timeline. Plus, Mary Sue/Gary Stu characters like Mara Jade and Grand Admiral Thrawn have no business upstaging movie characters. Movie characters also have no business being killed off.

So there it is.

I don’t understand the need to know every bit of minutiae about SW. For over twenty years, I was fine with not knowing Han Solo’s origins, or where Boba Fett came from, or the behind-the-scene lives of Jabba’s party people. It’s okay to read a few things about it, but I don’t obsess over it. There’s no need for me to carry around all this information, even though I do write SW fan fiction. In reality, I don’t do all that much more research than I do because I mostly write AUs and OCs. If anything, I rewatch the movies if I need to. That’s the only source that counts.

Lately I’ve seen a lot on EUniks harping on LFL’s pronouncement of EU as canon. If it’s canon, then answer two questions:

1) If it’s supposed to be “one story”, then why are there separate sections on the official site for EU and the films?

2) If it’s official LFL policy, why was it never announced on said site? Why was it left to various and sundry mouthpieces and employees to say it? Why wasn’t it emblazoned in neon letters on the one place most of SW fandom gets its news?

No EU person has ever answered those questions to my satisfaction.

You know, it’s time EU freaks learned a new phrase: personal canon. Not “GL/LFL said it and that settles it”. Personal canon. In my personal canon, anything that has the smallest stench of EU takes a backseat to the movies. Period. My personal canon says there are no Palpy clones, Chewbacca didn’t die, and Luke never went to the Dark Side. My personal canon says Darth Vader will always be a villain, not a tragic hero. I’m free to look at SW (or anything else) any way I want to, no matter what LFL says. You can say “IT’S CANON!!!! YOU MUST BELIEVE!!!” all you want, it won’t change anything. Just like it wouldn’t change anything if I beat you over the head screaming “YOU MUST ACCEPT MY PERSONAL CANON!!!”

But you must respect my right to have it.

…jumps down my throat, I did read EU at one time. Just about everything up until NJO. I can’t read the NJO knowing what I know about it. Some series I’ve never read (Han Solo Trilogy, Bounty Hunter Wars), some I couldn’t finish (Black Fleet Crisis, Corellian Trilogy), and others I’ve thrown against the wall (Shadows of the Empire). Most of the ones I haven’t done damage to were blah affairs.

The Throne Room is now open, ready to receive my rage against the inanities generated by Lucasfilm Ltd., mostly in the form of the Exploited Universe. What a waste of paper.