Chapter 26 – Enter The Bad Guy (FINALLY!!!)

February 16th, 2007

EXT. TATOOINE, HOMESTEAD, MOISTURE FARM – LATE DAY

Anakin stands looking across the desert. Padmé comes out of the homestead after him. Anakin turns to Padmé.

THE SHADOW OF VADER!!! Dun-dun-DUN!

How’s that for subtle? ) lol

ANAKIN: You’re gonna to have to stay here. These are good people, Padmé. You’ll be safe.

PADMÉ: Anakin…

Padmé hugs him. Anakin walks over to Owen’s speeder bike, which is standing close by.

ANAKIN: I won’t be long.

Anakin swings onto the bike. The engine fires. He takes off across the desert. Padmé watches him go.

EXT. TATOOINE – SUNSET

Anakin rides through the exotic landscape of mesas and wind-sculpted towers and arches.

Now, that has to be the hokiest, fakest looking CGI/live action composited scene in the whole movie. The speeder bike chase in ROTJ was way more believable. ILM did this, right? Are we sure?

EXT. TATOOINE – JAWA CAMP – TWILIGHT

Anakin asks the Jawas for directions, then the CHIEF JAWA points in a particular direction. Anakin gets on the bike.

EXT. GEONOSIS – TOWER ENTRANCE – DAWN

Light grows on the clustering tower of fantastic stalagmites. Obi-Wan sneaks up to the main one. He looks around quickly, then sneaks inside.

INT. GEONOSIS – CORRIDORS – MORNING

Obi-Wan makes his way along a narrow, pillared corridor. He comes to what looks like a large open well or vent shaft. He looks down and sees a huge underground facility below. In one area, machines are constructing battle droids. In another area, completed droids are moving along a conveyor belt.

From a nearby corridor, POGGLE THE LESSER (Archduke of Geonosis), his aide, SUN FAC, COUNT DOOKU and NUTE GUNRAY approach, closely followed by PASSEL ARGENTE and WAT TAMBOR. Count Dooku is tall, elderly, and saturnine, with beautiful manners. Obi-Wan presses himself an alcove as they pass by.

COUNT DOOKU: We must persuade the Commerce Guild and the Corporate Alliance to sign the treaty.

I checked the clock on the DVD player to check the time between when Amidala spoke Dooku’s name and when we actually see him. The “I think Count Dooku is behind this” occurs at about the five minute 47 second mark; we see him about one hour and sixteen minutes in. An hour and ten minutes go by before the supposed bad guy of the piece shows up.

I’ve seen gushers people try to explain it away with a number of arguments. One of the oddest is: “We never saw Sauron in the LOTR movies!” We saw the One Ring (and the Great Eye), and Gandalf made it very clear that the Ring and Sauron were one entity, and it was there all the time. It spoke, it changed shape, it breathed, it extended its influence on people. It was a villain, on the scene and active. Dangerous even when it wasn’t worn, and its agents were everywhere.

This pretty much describes Vader, especially in ESB and ROTJ. He’s on the scene and active (hunting down the Death Star plans personally and later Luke and company), he’s dangerous when he isn’t doing his thing (dead Imp officers and intimidation), and his agents are everywhere (probe droids, Star Destroyers, bounty hunters, etc.).

NUTE GUNRAY: What about the Senator from Naboo? Is she dead yet? I’m not signing your treaty until I have her head on my desk.

Nice picture. pfft

COUNT DOOKU: I am a man of my word, Viceroy.

WAT TAMBOR: With these new battle droids we’ve built for you, you’ll have the finest army in the galaxy.

They move out of earshot. Obi-Wan peers around the pillar to see them going through an archway on the far side of the courtyard. There is a flight of stairs beside it. He sneaks up them, to arrive at a narrow gothic archway. He looks down through it.

INT. GEONOSIS – CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY

Poggle the Lesser and his two AIDES are at one end of a large round conference table. Count Dooku is at the head of the table. In addition to the original group, there are also three opposition Senators: PO NUDO, TESSEK and TOONBUCK TOORA, and a Commerce Guild dignitary, SHU MAI, and a member of the Intergalactic Banking Clan, SAN HILL.

COUNT DOOKU: As I explained to you earlier, I am quite convinced that ten thousand more systems will rally to our cause with your support, gentlemen.

SHU MAI: (subtitled) What you are proposing could be construed as treason.

WAT TAMBOR: The Techno Union Army… (adjusting controls on suit when vocalizer malfunctions) … is at your disposal, Count.

roll

SAN HILL: The Banking Clan will sign your treaty.

COUNT DOOKU: Good, very good. Our friends from the Trade Federation have pledged their support. And when their battle droids are combined with yours, we shall have an army greater than anything in the galaxy. The Jedi will be overwhelmed. The Republic will agree to any demands we make.

This still makes my head hurt. How would the Jedi be overwhelmed if, as Mace said earlier, they weren’t soldiers? And yet, they will be out there with the troops.

INT. GEONOSIS – STAIRS – DAY

Obi-Wan pulls back from the archway.

Chapter 25 – The Lars Homestead

February 6th, 2007

EXT. TATOOINE – NEAR HOMESTEAD – LATE DAY

Anakin and Padmé walk from the Naboo starship. Artoo is trundling behind.

PADMÉ: Stay with the ship, Artoo.

I’ve noticed Artoo’s been told to “stay with the ship” quite a bit in the PT. At least twice in ROTS, if I remember correctly.

Artoo whistles and turns around.

EXT. TATOOINE – HOMESTEAD MOISTURE FARM – LATE DAY

C-3PO is working outside the homestead. He looks up as Anakin and Padmé arrive.

Why the same homestead from ANH? Did it absolutely have to be the same? Not even a little different?

C-3PO: Oh, hello. How might I be of service? I am See…

ANAKIN: Threepio?

C-3PO: Oh, um… Oh, my maker! Master Ani! I knew you would return, I knew it! And Miss Padmé. Oh, my!

PADMÉ: Hello, Threepio.

C-3PO: Bless my circuits, I’m so pleased to see you both!

ANAKIN: I’ve come to see my mother.

C-3PO: Oh…um…I think perhaps we’d better go indoors.

Okay, I’ve heard a number of theories as to why Owen doesn’t remember Threepio when the Jawas bring him to the homestead in ANH. What I want to know is what he would be doing there in the first place. I didn’t like that he was on Tatooine in the first place, and having Anakin be his “daddy” is beyond deplorable. What’s a protocol droid doing on a backwater planet like Tatooine? Remember in ANH, Owen only needed a droid that spoke Bocce, not a droid that was programmed for protocol.

EXT. TATOOINE, HOMESTEAD, COURTYARD – LATE DAY

Anakin, Padmé and Threepio arrive in the courtyard. Threepio shuffles ahead.

C-3PO: Master Owen! Might I present two important visitors.

OWEN LARS and BERU WHITESUN come out into the courtyard.

ANAKIN: I’m Anakin Skywalker.

OWEN: Owen Lars. This is my girlfriend, Beru.

BERU: Hello.

Another blatant yet empty attempt to connect the OT and the PT? I think so. pfft

PADMÉ: I’m Padmé.

OWEN: I guess I’m your stepbrother. I had a feeling you might show up some day.

ANAKIN: Is my mother here?

CLIEGG: No, she’s not.

CLIEGG LARS swings from the house on a small floating chair. One of his legs is heavily bandaged; the other is missing. He balances awkwardly and puts out a hand.

CLIEGG: Cliegg Lars. Shmi is my wife. We should go inside. We have a lot to talk about.

Yeah, like why did you buy her in the first place?

INT. TATOOINE–HOMESTEAD, KITCHEN – LATE DAY

Beru puts several steaming cups of ardees on a tray and exits the kitchen.

CLIEGG: (O.S.) It was just before dawn. They came out of nowhere. A hunting party of Tusken Raiders.

INT. TATOOINE, HOMESTEAD, DINING AREA – LATE DAY

Cliegg, Owen, Padmé and Anakin sit around the table, Beru brings the drinks in from the kitchen.

CLIEGG: Your mother had gone out early, like she always did, to pick mushrooms that grow on the vaporators.

What the heck was she doing out there by herself?!

CLIEGG: (Con’t) From the tracks, she was about halfway home when they took her. Those Tuskens walk like men, but they’re vicious, mindless monsters. Thirty of us went out after her. Four of us came back. I’d be out there with them, but…after I lost my leg I just couldn’t ride any more…until I heal.

Cliegg grimaces, easing his throbbing leg.

CLIEGG: I don’t want to give up on her, but she’s been gone a month. There’s little hope she’s lasted this long.

Silence. Then Anakin stands up.

OWEN: Where are you going?

ANAKIN: To find my mother.

CLIEGG: Your mother’s dead, son. Accept it.

At least that’s more that what Cliegg and his posse is doing.

SHE’S YOUR WIFE, MAN!!! You should have been out there looking for her day and night, leg or no leg. “It’s been a month, oh well.” Please. frustrate

Done and Done

February 5th, 2007

Everything is in place now, and I should get back to ripping AOTC a new one very soon. I also installed a nastier spam killer, and, even at “normal” it might eat some comments that aren’t spam. If your post disappears, email me and I’ll fish it out the trap.