EXT: SPACE – CORUSCANT

Count Dooku’s sailship approaches Coruscant’s night side. As the ship descends, the sails collapse and retract.

I don’t know why, but for some reason I feel the sail should be behind the ship. Weird.

EXT: CORUSCANT, OLD TOWN – DAWN

Dooku’s ship glides past glittering towers and industrial complexes into a deserted, dilapidated part of Coruscant. It heads for one of the towers. A door lifts, and the ship enters the building and lands.

INT: CORUSCANT, SECRET LANDING PLATFORM – DAWN

The ramp lowers. Dooku emerges and walks to where the hooded figure of DARTH SIDIOUS has come out to meet him. He bows.

COUNT DOOKU: The Force is with us, Master Sidious.

DARTH SIDIOUS: Welcome home, Lord Tyranus. You have done well.

They turn and leave the ship.

COUNT DOOKU: I have good news for you, my Lord. The war has begun.

DARTH SIDIOUS: Excellent. Everything is going as planned.

EXT: CORUSCANT, JEDI TEMPLE – SUNSET

The temple basks in the red glow of the setting sun.

INT: JEDI TEMPLE, COUNCIL CHAMBER – SUNSET

Obi-Wan and Mace stand at a window gazing at the cityscape.

OBI-WAN: Do you believe what Count Dooku said about Sidious controlling the Senate? It doesn’t feel right.

YODA: (O.S) Joined the Dark Side Dooku has.

Yoda is seated in the chamber’s only chair.

YODA: (Con’t) Hmm…lies, deceit, creating mistrust are his ways now.

MACE WINDU: Nevertheless, I feel we should keep a closer eye on the Senate.

YODA: I agree.

MACE WINDU: (To Obi-Wan) Where is your apprentice?

OBI-WAN: On his way to Naboo, escorting Senator Amidala home.

Have you been watching the movie, Obi-Wan?!

OBI-WAN: (Con’t) I have to admit that without the clones, it would not have been a victory.

YODA: (O.S.) Victory?

Obi-Wan and Mace turn and looks at the sad little Jedi.

YODA: Victory, you say? (Shaking his head) Master Obi-Wan, not victory. The shroud of the Dark Side has fallen. Begun, the Clone War has.

EXT: CORUSCANT, MILITARY STAGING AREA, BALCONY – SUNSET

Tens of Thousands of clone troops are drawn up in strict formation or move forward in neat files to climb the ramps of the Assault Ships.

Palpatine, Bail Organa, Mas Amedda and other dignitaries stand looking down at the square below. Everyone watches somberly as, in the square, loaded Assault Ships take off. The sky above is thick with transports.

Looks to me that Palpy wants to say “they’re mine, they’re mine, they’re ALL MINE!!!” so badly.

Bail Organa bows his head at the sight and in grim resignation lightly punches edge of the balcony with a closed fist.

EXT: NABOO LAKE RETREAT, GARDEN – LATE DAY

In an arbor overlooking the sparkling lake, Anakin and Padmé stand before a NABOO HOLY MAN. He blesses the happy couple and leaves as they clasp hands. Anakin’s right hand is replaced by a golden prosthetic one. They kiss. Threepio and Artoo stand by, watching. Anakin and Padmé turn to look at the lake.

IRIS OUT.

And after many fits and starts, this journey through CGI Land comes to a merciful end. What’s next? Why, Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith of course. It’s not quite as bad as AOTC, but that’s like saying botulism isn’t quite as bad as salmonella!

This Sith will be celebrating the holidays, but come 2008 I’ll be back to dissect ROTS with a rusty scalpel. Or sooner if I get bored.

INT: GEONOSIS, SECRET HANGAR – LATE DAY

Count Dooku increases the tempo of his attack. Obi-Wan is pushed to the limit to defend himself. Dooku presses. The two lock sabers. Obi-Wan strains to push Dooku’s blade away. Dooku grins and flashes his blade, quickly wounding Obi-Wan in the shoulder, then the thigh. Obi-Wan cries out and falls. His lightsaber goes skittering across the floor.

And Obi gets taken out of the fight early. Might become a habit.

Count Dooku waves his lightsaber with a flourish. Anakin sees what he is about to do. Dooku raises his lightsaber for the final blow. Obi-Wan looks up at him helplessly. Anakin leaps across the room with saber activated. Dooku’s lightsaber flashes down and CLASHES against Anakin’s lightsaber. Dooku and Anakin stare eye to eye.

COUNT DOOKU: Brave of you, boy. But I would have thought you had learned your lesson.

Obi-Wan stretches his hand out toward his lightsaber. It returns to his grasp.

ANAKIN: I am a slow learner.

I had a snarky remark for this, but Anakin beat me to it and dissed his own self.

Anakin backs off.

OBI-WAN: Anakin!

Obi-Wan tosses his lightsaber to Anakin. With two lightsabers, Anakin attacks. Count Dooku parries and ripostes. It’s no contest. Anakin is driven back. Dooku slices one lightsaber in half. Anakin retreats, slicing a power cable on the floor and plunging part of the chamber in darkness. Nothing can be seen except the glowing blades and their light as they illuminate the combatants’ faces. They mirror each other’s moves as the battle brings them back into the light.

Finally, Count Dooku, in one flashing move, sends Anakin’s arm, cut off at the elbow, flying, still gripping his lightsaber. He uses the Force to push Anakin across the room. He comes to rest against Obi-Wan, unconscious. Dooku heaves a hard breath and shuts down his lightsaber.

He hears footsteps approaching and turns at the sound. Shuffling into the chamber, grunting with every step, is the diminutive figure of Yoda.

COUNT DOOKU: Master Yoda.

Yoda stops, resting his hands on top of his walking stick.

YODA: Count Dooku.

COUNT DOOKU: You have interfered with our affairs for the last time.

Count Dooku raises his hand and pulls pieces of machinery off the walls and hurls them at the tiny figure of the Jedi Master. Yoda drops his stick and deflects the machinery. Count Dooku then causes great boulders in the ceiling above Yoda to fall, and again, Yoda deflects the
boulders and throws them aside.

YODA: Powerful you have become, Dooku. The Dark Side I sense in you.

COUNT DOOKU: I’ve become more powerful than any Jedi. Even you.

Dooku raises his hand and unleashes Force lightning. Yoda deflects it back. Dooku quickly deflects it off into a wall. The Count tries again, and Yoda holds out his hand against it. The energy goes off in all directions, having no effect. Dooku stops and reaches for his lightsaber.

YODA: Much to lean you still have.

COUNT DOOKU: It is obvious that this contest cannot be decided by our knowledge of the Force…

Dooku activates his saber.

COUNT DOOKU: (Con’t) …but by our skills with a lightsaber.

Count Dooku whirls his lightsaber in a formal salute. Yoda draws his lightsaber from his belt with the Force and ignites it. Suddenly, Count Dooku leaps across the space at Yoda. He rains down blows upon the tiny figure. Yoda doesn’t budge an inch. For the first part of the contest, he parries every cut and thrust that Count Dooku aims. Nothing the great swordsman tries gets through. His energy drains. His strokes become feeble, slower.

Yoda attacks! He flies forward. Count Dooku is forced to retreat. Words are insufficient to describe the range and skill of Yoda’s speed and swordplay. His lightsaber his a humming blur of light. Finally, their blades cross and the fighting slows.

The only thing I changed in the two paragraphs above is that Yoda draws his saber with the Force and that Dooku jumps at Yoda to start the fight. (Well, they both jump.) “Words are insufficient to describe”? Isn’t that an understatement.

YODA: Fought well you have, my old Padawan.

Okay, two Sith lords came directly or indirectly from Yoda. Not a very good track record.

COUNT DOOKU: This is just the beginning.

Dooku gestures to one side and uses the Force to pull on one of the cranes in the hanger. It comes crashing down toward Obi-Wan and Anakin. Dooku runs toward his ship. YODA closes his eyes and concentrates, trying to stop the crane. Obi-Wan looks up. Dooku runs up the ship’s ramp, throwing a look back before going inside. The crane stops just feet above Obi-Wan and Anakin, hanging in midair for a few moments before Yoda moves it aside and drops it to the floor. The sound of the Sail Ship’s engines are heard starting up.

EXT: GEONOSIS, SECRET HANGAR – LATE DAY

A Gunship pulls up to the landing platform. Padmé and four clonetroopers get out, just in time to see Dooku’s ship taking off. They fire at the craft to no avail.

EXT: GEONOSIS, SPACE

Count Dooku’s ship leaves Geonosis, passing escaping Trade Federation craft. The ship extends its sails and heads into deep space.

INT: GEONOSIS, SECRET HANGER TOWER – LATE DAY

Anakin is awake. Yoda sighs heavily and retrieves his walking stick with the Force. Obi-Wan and Anakin painfully get to their feet.

PADMÉ: Anakin!

Padmé runs to Anakin and throws her arms around him. Anakin is barely able to stand up.

How about a hug for Yoda? He saved your lousy boyfriend’s life after all.

…which I’ll be doing here. All to get past the rest of this CGI orgy pointless battle between faceless clones and faceless droids (oh joy), and faceless Jedi who are really no more effective than missiles and blasters. We do find out that termites designed the Death Star, though. Guh.

Anyway, now Dooku is bugging out. On a speeder bike, no less.

INT: REPUBLIC GUNSHIP – DAY

The Gunship breaks through a cloud of dust.

OBI-WAN: (Pointing) Look over there!

Below, a speeder flies ahead flanked by two beak-shaped fighters. On the bike is the unmistakable figure of Count Dooku.

ANAKIN: It’s Dooku! Shoot him down!

CLONE CAPTAIN: We’re out of rockets, sir.

Now if he had said “we’re out of ordinance”, like it says in the draft, I would have understood what he meant, and a lot of others. Why change it? Give us some credit, why doncha?

ANAKIN: Follow him!

PADMÉ: We’re gonna need some help!

OBI-WAN: There isn’t time! Anakin and I can handle this!

If by “handle” you mean having your lunch handed to you.

Dooku looks behind him. He presses controls on his speeder and signals to the two fighters flanking him. They veer off left and right, loop around, and come up behind our heroes’ Gunship. To avoid the Beak-Wing fire, the Gunship banks up a steep dune but is still hit. The ship lurches on its side, and Padmé and a clone officer tumble out.

ANAKIN: Padmé!!!

Anakin stares down in horror as Padmé hits the dune below. She rolls down the slope, reaching the bottom unconscious.

ANAKIN: (Con’t; to Pilot) Put the ship down!

OBI-WAN: Don’t let your personal feelings get in the way.

OBI-WAN: (Con’t; to Pilot) Follow that speeder.

The Gunship continues its pursuit of Dooku’s speeder, followed by the two Beak-Wing fighters.

ANAKIN: (To Pilot) Lower the ship!

OBI-WAN: I can’t take Dooku alone! I need you! If we catch him we can end this war right now! We have a job to do!

ANAKIN: I don’t care! (To Pilot) Put the ship down!

OBI-WAN: You will be expelled from the Jedi Order!

ANAKIN: I can’t leave her!

OBI-WAN: Come to your senses! What do you think Padmé would do were she in your position?

ANAKIN: (Resigned) She would do her duty.

EXT: COMMAND CENTER – DAY

Yoda stands next to the clone commander. He senses something.

YODA: Hmmmm…

CLONE COMMANDER: The droid army is in full retreat.

YODA: Well done, Commander. Bring me a ship.

EXT: GEONOSIS, SECRET HANGAR – LATE DAY

Dooku flies over a landing platform and into a opening built high on a cliff face.

INT: REPUBLIC GUNSHIP – DAY

Anakin and Obi-Wan watch as Dooku’s speeder disappears inside the cliff. The Gunship parks next to the landing ramp. Obi-Wan and Anakin, lightsabers activated, leap out with two troopers and run inside. The Gunship flies off, but is soon destroyed by the fighters.

INT: GEONOSIS, SECRET HANGAR – LATE DAY

Count Dooku throws switches on a control panel. His Interstellar Sail Ship is parked nearby. He gives orders to a nearby droid, and the droid quickly rolls inside the ship.

Obi-Wan and Anakin enter the chamber. Dooku turns toward them, his hand on his lightsaber.

ANAKIN: You’re gonna pay for all the Jedi that you’ve killed today, Dooku.

OBI-WAN: (To Anakin) We’ll take him together. Go in slowly on the left–

ANAKIN: I’m taking him now!

Anakin charges across the open space at Count Dooku.

OBI-WAN: No, Anakin! No! No!

Dooku smiles faintly, watching him come. At the last moment, Dooku thrusts out an arm and unleashes a blast of Force lightning. Anakin is hurled across the room, and slammed into the opposite wall. He slumps to the foot of the wall, semi-conscious. Count Dooku and Obi-Wan circle each other slowly.

I really hate that now force lightning is available to any old Sith lackey.

COUNT DOOKU: As you see, my Jedi powers are far beyond yours. Now…back down.

Dooku sends a blast of lightning at Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan calmly catches it with his lightsaber blade.

A little trick Obi-Wan and Yoda seems to have forgotten to teach Luke.

OBI-WAN: I don’t think so.

Dooku ignites his saber. Obi-Wan comes in fast, swinging at Dooku’s head. Dooku parries the cut easily. As they fight, it quickly becomes clear that Dooku is the complete swordsman,
elegant, graceful, classical – a master of the old style.

COUNT DOOKU: Master Kenobi, you disappoint me. Yoda holds you in such high esteem.

Count Dooku parries another cut and then thrusts. Obi-Wan steps back quickly, panting for breath.

COUNT DOOKU: Surely you can do better.

Obi-Wan takes a deep breath, gets a fresh grip on his lightsaber and comes in again. For a moment, he drives. Dooku’s superior skill begins to tell again, and he forces Obi-Wan to retreat. Anakin remains where he had fallen, writhing in pain.

A lot of good you are, Chosen One.

EXT: GEONOSIS, DUNES – DAY

On the ground, Padmé groans in pain. A CLONE TROOPER approaches.

CLONE TROOPER: Are you all right?

PADMÉ: Uh-huh.

She gets to her feet.

CLONE TROOPER: We’d better get you back to the forward command center.

PADMÉ: No. No. Gather what troops you can. We’ve got to get to that hanger. Get a transport. Hurry!

CLONE TROOPER: Right away!

They both run off across the sand.

Um, how did you know where they went? You were knocked out at the bottom of a sand dune by the time they get to the hangar.

EXT: GEONOSIS – EXECUTION ARENA – DAY

Geonosians are gathering in the arena seats.

Reminds me of termite season in my old apartment.

INT: GEONOSIS, TUNNEL TO EXECUTION ARENA – DAY

In a dark tunnel, Anakin and Padmé are standing into an open cart. They are tied so that they stand facing away from each other. The murmur of a vast crowd is heard offscreen.

ANAKIN: Don’t be afraid.

PADMÉ: I’m not afraid to die. I’ve been dying a little bit each day since you came back into my life.

ANAKIN: What are you talking about?

PADMÉ: I love you.

ANAKIN: You love me?!

ANAKIN: (Con’t) I thought we decided not to fall in love. That we would be forced to live a lie and that it would destroy our lives…

PADMÉ: I think our lives are about to be destroyed anyway. I truly, deeply love you, and before we die I want you to know.

Padmé leans toward Anakin. By straining hard, it is just possible for their lips to meet. They kiss.

And the love theme starts to swell to tragic heights just as you frantically search for a barf bag.

The driver cracks his whip over the ORRAY harnessed between the shafts. The cart jerks forward. Suddenly, there is a HUGE ROAR and blinding sunlight as they emerge into the
arena.

INT: GEONOSIS, EXECUTION ARENA – DAY

The great stadium is packed with tier upon tier of yelling Geonosians. The cart trundles to the center, where Obi-Wan is chained to one of four upright columns that are three feet in diameter. The cart stops. Padmé and Anakin are taken down, dragged to the columns and chained to them. Anakin is in the center. Padmé pulls a wire from her belt and places it in her mouth.

OBI-WAN: I was beginning to wonder if you had gotten my message.

ANAKIN: I retransmitted it as you requested, Master. Then we decided to come and rescue you.

OBI-WAN: (Glances up at his manacles) (sarcastically) Good job!

Yeah, really.

Their arms are pulled high above their heads, their chains attached to the top of the columns. The cart drives away. There is another ROAR as Poggle the Lesser, Count Dooku, Nute Gunray, the Fetts and dignitaries arrive in the archducal box and take their places.

POGGLE: (subtitled) Settle down, settle down.

The crowd becomes quiet.

POGGLE: (subtitled) Let the executions begin.

The crowd goes wild.

The other picadors poke the monsters toward the center.

ANAKIN: I’ve got a bad feeling about this.

Yeah, because we’re about to embark on another CGI orgy.

The monsters toss their heads, looking around, roaring or screeching. Then they catch sight of the three captives and start moving toward them.

OBI-WAN: Take the one the right. I’ll take the one on the left.

ANAKIN: What about Padmé?

OBI-WAN: She seems to be on top of things.

She seems to be the only one attempting to do something.

Padmé has used the wire she concealed to pick the lock on one of the hand restraints. She turns around and pulls herself up by the chain to the top of the post. Within a moment, she is standing on top of it, trying to pull the chain free.

The Nexu arrives at Padmé’s column and rears on its hind legs. Its claws dig deep into the stone. It reaches the top of the post and takes a swipe at Padmé. She hits the creature with her chain and it backs off down the pole. The Nexu makes another lunge and swipes at her again. She turns and the claws barely catches her shirt, leaving superficial claw marks across her back. She screams in pain. The Nexu slips down off the column and prowls.

In the archducal box, Nute Gunray beams and laughs.

In the archducal box, Nute Gunray fumes.

NUTE GUNRAY: She can’t do that! Shoot her–or something!

Padmé climbs back up the column, scrambling to the top. The Nexu gets up, still whining and bit less vicious than before.

Obi-Wan fights off the Acklay with his spear.

I bet ya Ewan felt pretty silly jabbing at empty space when he was filming this.

Padmé finally manages to work the chain loose. Anakin comes charging up on the Reek. The creature gores the Nexu with its horns.

ANAKIN: Jump!!!

Padmé leaps from the top of the column to land on the Reek behind Anakin. She and Anakin briefly kiss, and the Reek charges away.

Obi-Wan throws his speak, stabbing the Acklay in the shoulder. The Acklay screeches in pain. Then it removes the spear with its teeth and bites it in half. The Reek passes the wounded Acklay and Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan runs and jumps on the back of the Reek behind Anakin and Padmé.

In the archducal box, Nute Gunray turns angrily to Count Dooku.

NUTE GUNRAY: This isn’t how it’s supposed to be! Jango! Finish her off!

Count Dooku motions for the Viceroy to calm down.

COUNT DOOKU: (smiling enigmatically) Patience, Viceroy, patience. She will die.

Droidekas roll to the center of the arena where they transform and surround the Reek and contain the Jedi.

INT: GEONOSIS, EXECUTION ARENA – DAY

In the tunnel outside the archducal box, a robed figure approaches quietly.

EXT: GEONOSIS, EXECUTION ARENA – DAY

In the archducal box, amid the uproar, Mace Windu ignites his lightsaber and holds it to Jango Fett’s neck. Count Dooku turns to see Mace standing behind him. Count Dooku masks his surprise elegantly.

COUNT DOOKU: Master Windu, how pleasant of you to join us.

MACE WINDU: This party’s over.

At strategic places around the arena there are sudden flashes of light as about ONE HUNDRED JEDI switch on their lightsabers. The crowds in the stands begin to flee.

COUNT DOOKU: (to Mace Windu) Brave, but, uh, foolish, my old Jedi friend. You’re impossibly outnumbered.

MACE WINDU: (Scoffs) I don’t think so.

COUNT DOOKU: (Smiling) We’ll see.

The approach of heavy metallic footsteps echoes from the tunnel behind Mace. A troop of SUPER BATTLE DROIDS fire on him. The Jedi quickly blocks their shots. Jango Fett fires his flamethrower at Mace, igniting Mace’s robe. He jumps into the arena, and upon landing, tosses away his smoldering robe. The battle begins. Geonosians fly away everywhere. Droids fire at Jedi, who deflect the bolts and cut down the droids.

More battle droids enter the arena. Threepio’s body with the battle droid head marches with them, armed with a blaster.

C-3PO: (Synthesized voice) My legs aren’t moving. I must need maintenance.

Ugh…

The Geonosian troops fire ray guns that are more difficult for the Jedi to deflect. The Reek is spooked by the battle. The beast bucks the riders off its back and stampedes around the arena. The Jedi go into action while Padmé picks up a discarded pistol and joins the fight.

More droids enter the arena. The battle droid body with Threepio’s head marches with them, carrying a blaster rifle.

C-3PO: What’s all this noise? A-A battle! Oh, there’s been some mistake! I’m programmed for etiquette, not destruction!

Obi-Wan and Mace Windu fight back-to-back, lightsabers flashing.

Threepio’s body with the battle droid head fires at one Jedi. He blocks the shots, deflecting one shot back. The battle droid head goes flying off Threepio’s body.

Another Jedi leaps into the archducal box and prepares to confront Count Dooku. Jango Fett fires on him, knocking the Jedi over the edge of the platform.

The Reek charges and separates Obi-Wan and Mace. The Reek chases Mace across the arena. Jango Fett, watching from above, rockets down into the arena. Mace slashes at the Reek but loses his lightsaber. Jango lands and dives for Mace’s weapon.

Mace retrieves his lightsaber with the Force. The Reek roars and tosses Jango away. Jango ends up under the Reek, avoiding the creature’s massive hoofs. Finally, Fett is free and kills the Reek with a single shot. Mace fights fiercely with Jango. Finally, the bounty hunter falls. His helmet goes flying. The bounty hunter’s body falls to the ground.

A look of concern crosses Dooku’s face. Boba stares blankly at what occurred.

Threepio’s droid body is blasting away at the enemy.

C-3PO: Die, Jedi dogs! Oh! What did I say?

The fight is getting too close for Nute and his aide as blaster shots detonate against the wall behind them.

On the arena floor, Jedi Kit Fisto faces the Threepio battle droid.

C-3PO: Oh, dear. I’m terribly sorry about all this.

Kit uses the Force to knock backward onto the arena floor.

C-3PO: Oh!

A downed Super Battle Droid falls on top of Threepio’s battle droid body, pinning him to the ground. Kit grins and goes back to the fight.

C-3PO: Excuse me. I’m trapped. I can’t get up.

A droideka blasts at the orray pulling the execution wagon. The wagon overturns, throwing Padmé and Anakin to the ground. They crawl back to the wagon, using it for cover.

ANAKIN: You call this diplomacy?

PADMÉ: No, I call it aggressive negotiations.

Is this supposed to mirror Han/Leia banter? I don’t think so.

Obi-Wan fights two battle droids, but they suddenly start backing off.

BATTLE DROID ONE: Uh-oh

BATTLE DROID TWO: Roger, roger.

The Acklay closes in on Obi-Wan from behind. He turns around and slices through the creature’s front legs. It shrieks and crashes to the ground. Obi-Wan plunges his lightsaber into the Acklay, killing it.

Artoo finds the battle droid with Threepio’s head attached.

C-3PO: Artoo, what are you doing here?

Artoo shoots a projectile from his body that attaches a suction device to Threepio’s head.

C-3PO: What are you doing? Oh, stop that! You’re going to strain something. My neck!

Artoo pulls the head away from the battle droid and drags it across the arena.

C-3PO: Now where are you taking me? Oh, this is such a drag.

Truer words have never been said.

Artoo beeps.

Artoo arrives at Threepio’s fallen body.

C-3PO: Oh, I’m quite beside myself.

Artoo begins reattaching Threepio’s head.

C-3PO: Artoo, please be careful. You’re singeing my circuits! (Artoo beeps) Yes, but is my head on straight?

As Artoo works, Threepio’s limbs twitch to life.

From the archducal box, Count Dooku senses that the battle is nearly over. Mace, Obi-Wan, Anakin, Padmé and an exhausted group of about twenty Jedi stand in the center of the arena surrounded by a ring of battle droids. The bloodied sand around them is strewn with the bodies of dead Geonosians, shattered droids and Jedi.

Count Dooku lifts his hand. The droids stop firing and lower their weapons. Obi-Wan stoops to check on a fallen comrade.

The Count calls out to the Jedi.

COUNT DOOKU: Master Windu! You have fought gallantly. Worthy of recognition in the history archives of the Jedi Order. Now it is finished.

Ki-Adi-Mundi, Plo Koon and other survivors from the raiding party are herded into the circle by Geonosians.

COUNT DOOKU: (pauses briefly) Surrender, and your lives will be spared.

MACE WINDU: We will not be hostages to be bartered, Dooku.

COUNT DOOKU: Then, I’m sorry, old friend.

The droids raise their weapons. The Jedi prepare to fight. Padmé looks up suddenly.

PADMÉ: Look!

Above, SIX GUNSHIPS are descending fast through the open area in the arena ceiling. The droids fire on them. The ships circle the arena and blasts droids into scrap metal. Yoda appears at the door of one of the Gunships.

YODA: Around the survivors a perimeter create.

The Gunships land in a cluster around the handful of Jedi. CLONE TROOPERS spill out and start firing at the droids. The surviving Jedi dash to the Gunships and scramble in. Once the clone troopers are back aboard, the Gunships, firing all their weapons, rise out of the arena up and over the topmost rim.

On the arena grounds, Artoo beeps as Threepio tries to sit up.

C-3PO: What happened? I had the most peculiar dream.

In another part of the deserted arena, Boba Fett finds his father’s battered helmet. Kneeling down, he picks it up and lowers his head in sorrow.

INT: CORUSCANT, MAIN SENATE CHAMBER, UPPER CORRIDOR – EVENING

Mace Windu walks down an upper corridor and meets Yoda, who is sitting on a ledge overlooking the Senate chamber.

Inside the great rotunda, Jar Jar is addressing the Senate from his floating pod.

JAR JAR: It’s-a clear desa Separatists have made a pact wesa desa Federation du Trade.

JAR JAR: (Con’t) Senators, dellow felagates. In response to this direct threat to the Republic, mesa propose that the Senate give immediately emergency powers to the supreme chancellor.

Applause and voices of approval spread through the rotunda.

SENATORS: (Chanting) Palpatine! Palpatine! Palpatine!

MAS AMEDDA: Order! We shall have order!

The applause dies down. Palpatine rises.

PALPATINE: It is with great reluctance that I have agreed to this calling. I love democracy. I love the Republic. (scattered applause from Senators) The power you give me I will lay down when this crisis has abated. And as my first act with this new authority, I will create a grand army of the Republic to counter the increasing threats of the separatists.

INT: CORUSCANT, MAIN SENATE CHAMBER, UPPER CORRIDOR – EVENING

MACE WINDU: It is done, then.

YODA: Hmm.

MACE WINDU: I will take what Jedi we have left and go to Geonosis and help Obi-Wan.

Wow, that’s a smart strategic move, dude. Go out in the middle of nowhere and possibly get everybody killed so there’s nothing left but kids and old folk. Nice.

YODA: Visit I will the cloners on Kamino, hmm…and see this army they have created for the Republic.

Mace leaves.

I left out the all-important “Jar Jar is responsible for the Empire’s creation” scene. I’ll pick that up in the next post (Chapter 30a) before that wonderfully romantic “love pledge” scene in the Geonosis arena (Chapter 32).

There is not much to say about the droid factory scene that hasn’t already been said elsewhere. But that won’t stop me from saying it! Anyway, just think about those old Warner Brothers cartoons where the characters are running through operating machinery avoiding getting folded, spindled and mutilated. If you want to see a good, fun, well-made, suspense-filled scene of this type, go watch Chicken Run. It definitely won’t leave you with a sour taste in your mouth, as will this.

EXT: GEONOSIS – DAY

Anakin pilots the starship close to the ground, weaving around towering rock formations.

PADMÉ: See those columns of steam straight ahead? They’re exhaust vents of some type.

ANAKIN: That’ll do.

Anakin pilots the craft straight down into a column, flying through the steam, and landing at the bottom.

INT: COCKPIT, NABOO STARSHIP – DAY

Padmé and Anakin prepare to leave the starship.

PADMÉ: Look, whatever happens out there, follow my lead. I’m not interested in getting into a war here. As a member of the Senate, maybe I can find a diplomatic solution to this mess.

Oh, she was serious. Heh, my bad.

ANAKIN: Don’t worry. I’ve given up trying to argue with you.

ARTOO WHISTLES a plaintive sigh.

C-3PO: My obtuse little friend. If they had needed our help, they would have asked for it. You obviously have a great deal to learn about human behavior.

INT: GEONOSIS, CORRIDORS – DAY

Anakin and Padmé walk along a catwalk surrounded by clouds of steam. They stop at what appears to be a door. Anakin touches it, and with a hiss it opens. They pass through and enter. The door closes as they look around in wonder at the emptiness.

INT: COCKPIT, NABOO STARSHIP – DAY

Artoo stands in front of Threepio, who is fussing about.

C-3PO: For a mechanic, you seem to do an excessive amount of thinking. (Artoo beeps at him) I’m programmed to understand humans.

Artoo beeps a question.

C-3PO: “What does that mean?” Oh! That means I’m in charge here!

Artoo rolls out of the cockpit.

C-3PO: Where are you going now? You don’t know what’s out there. Don’t you have any sense at all? Oh! Idiot!

Artoo trundles out of the starship and down the landing ramp. Threepio follows him out of the ship.

C-3PO: Please wait! Do you know where you’re going?

Artoo bleeps at Threepio.

INT: GEONOSIS, CORRIDORS – DAY

Anakin and Padmé enter a dark corridor. As they pass, the surfaces of the walls seems to move.

ANAKIN: Wait.

Dark forms detach from the walls and close in. Anakin turns as one of the WINGED CREATURES attacks him. Lightsaber blazing, Anakin cuts down three creatures as Padmé exits through a far doorway. He reaches Padmé and they both stand on the edge of a short walkway extending over a deep crevasse. The door behind them closes, stranding the two. The walkway retracts and Padmé slips and then jumps down onto a conveyor belt leading into the droid factory.

ANAKIN: Padmé!

Anakin jumps down and slashes more Geonosians while attempting to reach Padmé. Padmé makes her way across stamping machines and welders as Anakin follows, beating back his opponents.

INT: GEONOSIS, DROID FACTORY – DAY

Threepio and Artoo stop at the small walkway.

C-3PO: Oh, my goodness! Shut me down! Machines making machines. How perverse! (Artoo bleeps)

C-3PO: (Con’t) Calm down. I almost fell. You’ll get your chance–!

Artoo pushes Threepio off the small ledge and onto a flying Conveyor Droid.

C-3PO: Oh! I’m scrap!

The conveyor droid grabs Threepio and tries to shake him off.

C-3PO: It’s a nightmare! Oh! I want to go home! Ahh!

The conveyor droid drops Threepio onto a conveyor belt below.

C-3PO: Oh, what did I do to deserve this?

Artoo uses his rocket jets to fly up and into the factory.

Those rocket jets we never see again.

Anakin continues to work his way toward Padmé, lightsaber flashing, Geonosians attacking from all directions. Padmé wrestles with one creature and is thrown into a large empty vat moving down the assembly line. Mechanized arms carry the vat to a position where molten metal will be poured into it. Padmé struggles to find handholds for escape, but is unsuccessful. Artoo flies toward Padmé.

Threepio is carried down the assembly line.

C-3PO: Hmm. I wonder what happened to poor little Artoo. He’s always getting himself into trouble. Oops!

A robotic arm knocks his head from his body. His head lands in a line of Battle Droid heads on another conveyor belt.

C-3PO: Oh, no!

Threepio’s headless body continues down the assembly line, sandwiched between Battle Droids. A Battle Droid head is welded on Threepio’s body.

C-3PO: (battle droid voice) Oh-no.

His head is welded onto a Battle Droid body.

C-3PO: Oh, I’m so confused.

Yuk, yuk, yuk.

Meanwhile, Anakin continues to battle the Geonosians. Using the Force, her hurls robotic arms and other equipment at them. He leaps up onto a conveyor belt above. He takes out a piece of machinery that’s about to hit him, but he’s knocked down by a second arm. He falls down and his right arm becomes trapped inside a metal part being welded together. Anakin comes close to the cutting machine.

As Padmé continues her struggle to escape the vat, Artoo finds the computer port controlling the vats and programs Padmé’s to dump her onto a walkway. Anakin maneuvers his body away from a series of cutters, but one slams down and cuts his lightsaber in half. Anakin finally frees his arm and prepares to ignite his damage weapon.

ANAKIN: Oh, no, not again. Obi-Wan is going to kill me.

Padmé is surrounded by Geonosians and taken prisoner. Anakin is surrounded by droidekas and from above, Jango Fett drops down, blaster in hand.

JANGO FETT: Don’t move, Jedi! Take him away!

More droidekas arrive with weapons drawn.

INT: CORUSCANT, CHANCELLOR’S OFFICE – DAY

BAIL ORGANA: The Commerce Guilds are preparing for war, there can be no doubt of that.

PALPATINE: Count Dooku must have made a treaty with them.

ASK AAK: (subtitled) The debate is over! Now we need that clone army.

BAIL ORGANA: Unfortunately, the debate is not over. The Senate will never approve the use of the clones before the separatists attack.

MAS AMEDDA: This is a crisis! The Senate must vote the Chancellor emergency powers! He could then approve the creation of an army.

PALPATINE: But what Senator would have the courage to propose such a radical amendment?

MAS AMEDDA: If only Senator Amidala were here.

PALPATINE: (nodding) Hmm.

Jar Jar thinks about this.

INT: GEONOSIS, PRISON CELL – DAY

Count Dooku walks into the cell holding Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan is suspended in a force field, turning slowly as blue electric bolts restrain him. Count Dooku circles Obi-Wan as they talk.

OBI-WAN: Traitor!

COUNT DOOKU: Oh, no, my friend. This is a mistake. A terrible mistake. They’ve gone too far. This is madness.

You deserve so much better, Mr. Lee.

OBI-WAN: I thought you were the leader here, Dooku.

COUNT DOOKU: This had nothing to do with me, I assure you. I will petition immediately to have you set free.

OBI-WAN: Well, I hope it doesn’t take too long. I have work to do.

COUNT DOOKU: May I ask why a Jedi Knight is all the way out here on Geonosis?

OBI-WAN: I’ve been tracking a bounty hunter named Jango Fett. Do you know him?

COUNT DOOKU: There are no bounty hunters here that I’m aware of. Geonosians don’t trust them.

OBI-WAN: Well, who can blame them. But he is here, I can assure you.

COUNT DOOKU: It’s a great pity that our paths have never crossed before, Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon always spoke very highly of you. I wish he were still alive. I could use his help
right now.

OBI-WAN: Qui-Gon Jinn would never join you.

COUNT DOOKU: Don’t be so sure, my young Jedi. You forget that he was once my apprentice just as you were once his.

COUNT DOOKU: (Con’t) He knew all about the corruption in the Senate, but he would never have gone along with it if he had known the truth as I have.

OBI-WAN: The truth?

COUNT DOOKU: The truth. What if I told you that the Republic was now under the control of the Dark Lord of the Sith?

OBI-WAN: No, that’s not possible. The Jedi would be aware of it.

COUNT DOOKU: The dark side of the Force has clouded their vision, my friend. Hundreds of Senators are now under the influence of a Sith Lord called Darth Sidious.

OBI-WAN: I don’t believe you.

COUNT DOOKU: The Viceroy of the Trade Federation was once in league with this Darth Sidious. But he was betrayed ten years ago by the Dark Lord. He came to me for help. He told me everything. You must join me, Obi-Wan, and together we will destroy the Sith.

I vaguely remember this coming from another movie. With Christopher Lee in it. Hmm, what movie could that be?

OBI-WAN: I will never join you, Dooku.

Count Dooku turns to leave.

COUNT DOOKU: It may be difficult to secure your release.

INTERIOR: COCKPIT, NABOO STARSHIP – DAY

A rough hologram of Obi-Wan is projected in front of Anakin and Padmé. They watch the flickering image.

OBI-WAN: (V.O.) Anakin, my long range transmitter has been knocked out. Retransmit this message to Coruscant.

Padmé turns and reaches over to a control board and pushes a button to transmit the message.

INT: CORUSCANT – CHANCELLOR’S OFFICE – NIGHT

The Supreme Chancellor, several aides, Senators and Jedi are gathered around the hologram of Obi-Wan.

OBI-WAN: (V.O.) I have tracked the bounty hunter Jango Fett to the droid foundries on Geonosis. The Trade Federation is to take taking delivery of a droid army here and it is clear that Viceroy Gunray…

INT: COCKPIT, NABOO STARSHIP – DAY

Anakin and Padmé continue to listen.

OBI-WAN: (V.O.) …is behind the assassination attempts on Senator Amidala.

INT: CORUSCANT – CHANCELLOR’S OFFICE – NIGHT

OBI-WAN: (V.O.) The Commerce Guilds and Corporate Alliance have both pledged their armies to Count Dooku and are forming a… Wait!… Wait!!

INT: COCKPIT, NABOO STARSHIP – DAY

Anakin and Padmé watch as Obi-Wan is attacked by Droidekas. The hologram cuts off. Anakin is agitated.

INT: CORUSCANT – CHANCELLOR’S OFFICE – NIGHT

YODA looks to MACE WINDU.

YODA: More happening on Geonosis, I feel, than has been revealed.

MACE WINDU: I agree. Anakin…

INT: COCKPIT, NABOO STARSHIP – DAY

Anakin and Padmé watch a hologram of MACE WINDU.

MACE WINDU: (V.O.) …We will deal with Count Dooku. The most important thing for you is to stay where you are. Protect the Senator at all costs. That is your first priority.

ANAKIN: Understood, Master.

The hologram switches off.

PADMÉ: They’ll never get there in time to save him. They have to come halfway across the galaxy. Look…

Padmé brings up a readout on the ship’s control panel.

There’s that magic button again.

PADME: Geonosis is less than a parsec away.

ANAKIN: If he’s still alive.

PADMÉ: Ani, are you just going to sit here and let him die? He’s your friend… your mentor…

ANAKIN: He’s like my father.

ANAKIN: (Con’t) But you heard Master Windu. He gave me strict orders to stay here.

PADMÉ: He gave you strict orders to protect me. And I’m going to help Obi-Wan.

Padmé flicks more switches. The engines fire.

PADMÉ: So if you plan to protect me, you’ll just have to come along.

Anakin grins and takes the controls. Threepio and Artoo come forward from the back of the starship. Threepio straps himself into a seat behind Padmé.

Wow, that was fast. One second it was “he’s dead anyway, big whoop”. Now it’s “yippee, let’s fly!” Things sure do change in a hurry when a girl is involved.

THREEPIO: I’m not worried, Artoo. It’s just I’ve never flown before.

EXT: TATOOINE, HOMESTEAD – DAY

The Naboo Starship rises and zooms away.

This is probably the most gut-wrenchingly boo-awful scene in the whole film. (And I can’t think of a word better than “awful” to describe anything in these movies.) It has to compete with that fireplace scene, but it doesn’t need to try too hard to best it in the dreadfulness department. Ugh, it’s still hard to watch.

EXT. TATOOINE, DESERT, HOMESTEAD, MOISTURE FARM – MORNING

Anakin rides the speeder bike toward the homestead. Shmi’s body is tied to it. Owen, followed by Beru and Padmé, comes out of the homestead to meet Anakin. Threepio follows. Cliegg hobbles out of the homestead on his hovering chair.

Anakin arrives. They run to him as he steps away from the bike, carrying Shmi. He stops, face-to-face with Cliegg. There is a brief pause. Then he carries Shmi into the homestead.

INT. TATOOINE, HOMESTEAD, GARAGE – DAY

Padmé comes in with a tray of food. Anakin is standing at a workbench, repairing a part of the speeder bike.

PADMÉ: I brought you something. Are you hungry?

ANAKIN: The shifter broke. Life seems so much simpler when you’re fixing things.

Padme puts the tray down.

ANAKIN: I’m good at fixing things… always was. But I couldn’t. (stops working, tears in his eyes) Why did she have to die? Why couldn’t I save her? I know I could have!

Anakin turns and walks away from the bench.

PADMÉ: Sometimes there are things no one can fix. You’re not all-powerful, Annie.

ANAKIN: (angry) Well, I should be! Someday I will be…I will be the most powerful Jedi ever! I promise you, I will even learn to stop people from dying.

PADMÉ: Anakin…

ANAKIN: It’s all Obi-Wan’s fault. He’s jealous! He’s holding me back!

Because he kept a leash on a potential nutcase? Then yeah, go blame him.

Anakin hurls the wrench across the garage. It CLATTERS to the floor. He looks at his trembling hands. Padme stares at him, shocked.

PADMÉ: What’s wrong, Ani?

ANAKIN: I…I killed them. I killed them all. They’re dead. Every single one of them.

Anakin focuses on her like someone returning from far away.

ANAKIN: Not just the men, but the women and the children, too. They’re like animals, and I slaughtered them like animals. I hate them!

There is silence for a moment, then Anakin breaks down, sobbing. Padmé takes him into her arms.

PADMÉ: To be angry is to be human.

I absolutely HATE this line! It’s as much of a cop-out as the “certain point of view” claptrap Obi-Wan spouted in ROTJ.

If she weren’t a plastic puppet, she would have backed away and gotten the heck out of there.

ANAKIN: I’m a Jedi. I know I’m better than this.

Padmé strokes his hair, and Anakin weeps.

EXT. TATOOINE, HOMESTEAD, GRAVESITE – DAY

Anakin, Padmé, Cliegg, Owen, Beru, and Threepio are standing around Shmi’s grave. Two other headstones, one smaller than the other, stand in the blazing suns.

CLIEGG: I know wherever you are, it’s become a better place. You were the most loving partner a man could ever have. Goodbye, my darling wife. And thank you.

Brief pause. Anakin steps forward and kneels at his mother’s grave. He picks up a handful of sand.

ANAKIN: I wasn’t strong enough to save you, Mom. I wasn’t strong enough. But I promise I won’t fail again. (stands up) I miss you so much.

Silence. Then beeps and whistles are heard. They turn as Artoo rolls up.

PADMÉ: Artoo, what are you doing here?

Artoo beeps and whistles.

C-3PO: It seems that he is carrying a message from an Obi-Wan Kenobi. Master Ani, does that name mean anything to you?